Something wrong in Cowistan.


Defeated voters of the ruling BJP return from the polling booth in Bihar

Following the rise of Cow Protection Brigades (CPB) across India, a group of cows meet to discuss the antics of some over zealous CPBers, who are determined to capture every last drop of the cows’ urine.

The normally docile but hard working Kenkatha says, ‘Sisters, India is going to the dogs, and we can no longer remain silent.’

A long horned Nagori, raises her neck, brushes flies off her back with her tail and reprimands Kenkatha, ‘That is such bullshit. We’ve never had it so good. What fly has got in your cud?’

‘I no longer wish to live in a country where I can’t piss in private,’ Kenkatha replies.

‘What need do us deities have for privacy?’ Nagori asks, ‘Your tail is really in Pakistan and you like Shah Rukh Khan are traitor.’

‘ How dare you accuse  Shah Rukh Khan of being a Pakistani?’ Kenkatha snaps.

Everyone knows his soul, like your tail, is in Pakistan,’ Nagori sniggers.

‘Who cares about his soul, his sexy ass is Indian, ‘ Kenkatha replies. ‘And I’ll wiggle my tail where I want.’

The Cow milking mela.

Nagori learns that a cow milking competition taking place in Lahore and decides to represent India.

The Pakistanis are only concerned with beating India. Hundreds of people form circle around the competing cows. Drums start beting.

First comes the American cow. It gives 30 kilos of milk. Drums beat louder. The Crowd cheers. Then it is the turn of the French. It gives – 20 kilos. The British one follows and it gives 15 kilos. Each time the crowd celebrates. There are only two competitors left. The Indian and Pakistani.

Nagori gives Pakistan’s brown skinned, emaciated Sahiwali, a dirty look and gets ready to be milked. Sahiwali winks at Nagori.

‘You lecherous Pakistani cow,’ Nagori hisses.

Sahiwali blows Nagori a sensual kiss.

To the utter jubilation of the crowd, the Indian cow gives only 3 kilos.

Pakistanis celebrate their imminent victory. Drummers beat as loudly as they can and Lahoris dance. Then there is pin drop silence as the Pakistani is milked. It give 1 kilo.

The crowd is enraged and starts beating the Pakistani farmer. The terrified farmer holds his hands in front of the mob and pleads, ‘Please brothers. Mine is a bull.’  END –

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